From the new book Lighting Your Way, With Love
Though she didn't have any professional food-service training, my mother knew how to host a big party. When I was in high school, about three times a year, my parents hosted dinner for thirty to forty people. These grand banquets required us to clear out the furniture in the living room to make space for the tables that we borrowed from our church.
Mom did all the cooking, making sauerbraten and corned beef with cabbage for the masses. Dad took care of stocking and chilling the beverages. In addition to feasting, there was singing and dancing. Lots of laughter filled the house.
The regularity of these events prompted guests to ask about the date of the next one so that they could get it on the calendar. Over time, the eclectic group of family, friends, and guests got to know one another. As a result of my parents’ hospitality, friendships emerged around the borrowed banquet tables. Over time, strangers became neighbors, part of the Lichtenberger family.
Imagine you are going to host a big gathering. Don't worry about the food or if you have enough space. Think about the people. Who would you invite? What names and faces pop into your mind immediately? Are they blood relations or close friends? Extended family?
At first, think only about those you want to be at your party. Who are those people who make you smile and laugh, whom you are always happy to see? So far, I'm guessing this whole exercise has been pleasurable. Who doesn't want to be around people who bring joy, happiness, and friendship to life?
Even if your initial list is massive, more in number than you have room to host, continue to imagine. It is time to add more guests. Think of folks who live in your neighborhood. Invite the ones you know by name and the ones you know only by sight. How about the person you wave to as they jog or walk their dog by your house? These are all your neighbors by the strictest of definitions. Ask them to come by so that you can get to know them and start to love them.
Continue with the list. Now include the ones about whom you don't usually think. By definition, this will be harder because you don't often consider these folks. They fade into the background of your busy life. Some hide in plain sight, like the person begging on the corner with a cardboard sign. Others cower in the shadows, like the migrant who lacks the proper papers or the abused mother who doesn't want anyone to notice her bruises. How about the stoned drug user who is tripping out? Do you have space in your heart for them? What would it take to love each of these also as your neighbor?
Think now of the very last person you would like to come to your party. Who is your nemesis in life—that person who works tirelessly to get you down? Add that person and any associated villainous characters to your list.
Look over your list. How big and unrealistic did it become? Who are the most unlikely guests? Ask yourself why? Be honest. What is preventing you from inviting them to your party? Is it fear? Prejudice? Wariness of the social retribution you will suffer from asking the wrong folks? Or is it merely that it is awkward to approach strangers?
Now, wonder about the feast that Isaiah describes: "On this mountain, the LORD of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines, of rich food filled with marrow, of well-aged wines strained clear (Isaiah 25:6-7)." It will be the grandest of all parties. What is more, everyone—absolutely everyone—is on the guest list.
From the top of your hypothetical invite list to the absolute bottom, all will be there. God will lower all the boundaries and heal all the divisions at the great feast. Old bonds will strengthen. New friendships will form. It will be a glorious day that inaugurates a community in which all live as neighbors. On that day, love will be both the language and system of exchange. Not a single person will be left out.
It is the kind of dream that is worth our time and imagination. It is a destination toward which each of us would do well to travel. It is a hope that should inspire us the next time we make up an invite list.
A Note to My Son:
Dear Noah,
What is the biggest room on campus? Picture it filled with tables and chairs—hundreds of them. Imagine a feast filled with all the very best foods, all of your favorites. It's your party, so you can invite anyone you would like.
Who would be on your guest list? I'm sure you'd invite your friends and family (don't forget your dad!). Perhaps acquaintances and maybe even your teachers would also get an invite.
Now imagine that there is still room. Who else would you let come? Would you grab unknown students and their friends? Would you go out into the streets and bring in complete strangers? How far would you go to invite people?
Hard to picture, isn't it? But difficult as it is even to imagine, that is what is on God's mind when it comes to the heavenly feast. Everyone at the table. Let that image inspire you the next time you head into the cafeteria.
Love you, always,
Dad.
Permission granted to share today's content with family and friends. Copyrighted 2018. Walt Lichtenberger
See below for details on how to purchase Lighting Your Way, With Love
When teenagers leave home, it is a time of adjustment for the whole family. Lighting Your Way, With Love helps young and old find the wisdom, courage, and faith to face what lies ahead. Walt writes from the dual-perspective of a father whose son is going off to university and a seasoned pastor who has walked with others during times of transition.
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