From the 2018 series “With Thanks”
“How very good and pleasant it is
when kindred live together in unity!”
If I were to make a list of the people who bring me the greatest joy, who I've shared the most life with, and who have been there in my most profound moments of sorrow and greatest bliss, at the top would be my family.
They are also the ones who know my greatest quirks and surest inclinations. For better or worse, at times, they know me better than I know myself and they are not afraid to point out the inconsistencies or foibles. More than 'keeping it real,' they can meet me in the place where I am most real - warts and all.
Some of these folks share my blood and some of those who I call 'family' don't. My definition of "family" has expanded over the years. It now includes those whose friendship has been a constant blessing and support. Lately, it has also excluded those who are no longer present in my life, although they share the same biological soup.
Like a pebble that is dropped into a pond, sending out ripples and waves from the center, so is my family. The ones who are closest to the center are my boys, wife, parents, siblings and their kids. If any awards are given out for putting up with or most supporting, this group takes the serious hardware.
Beyond them, the wave includes others who I've come to count upon for their wisdom, strength, guidance, and love. Perhaps in another age, I would have called them 'friends.' Thanks to Facebook, 'friends' seems too casual a designation. They are much more than someone I 'like' - they also are the ones I love.
When I think of the PEOPLE for whom I'm most thankful, I need to start with my family.
Thank you for bringing the laughter and enjoyment to my day.
Thank you also for being honest with me by helping to hold up a mirror so I can see myself as I am, beyond my delusions. By the way, it is not always fun when you do this. Sometimes, it makes me downright mad and frustrated. But you love me enough to hold me accountable to myself and are willing to be a part of my self-improvement project. You love me in spite of my behavior that can be maddening.
Thank you for just being there to share my life with all its goodness, horror, imperfections, ugliness, and beauty. Through the peaks and valleys, you have been my traveling companions. We remain connected by a bond that time has tested, proofed, and polished.
Thank you for teaching me also about the mechanics of love and forgiveness. It is a lovely dance that at times moves with the grace of a ballerina, filling the dance hall with delight. At other times, it plods along like a draft horse pulling a beer wagon. There are those moments when all movement stops and a painful silence breaks the rhythm.
My dear family, though I sing my second highest praise about you (topmost must go to God) and words can not adequately express my gratitude, what I have come most to appreciate about our relationship is found in its imperfection.
In the context of our living together, I don't have to pretend to be someone else - in fact, you won't let me get away with that. Perfection is a fool's dream, an unattainable destination. When I try to head down that road, you have reminded me to keep it real. For your leveling - I am grateful. We are not perfect - we can only try to be human and live into the vulnerability of our brokenness.
Last, thank you for the ways that you teach me about God's love and care. Through your words, deeds, and presence - as wonderfully imperfect as it sometimes can be - you shine a sacred light that brightens my spirit. Thank you for being this blessing to me and for giving me the chance to be this blessing to you.